Of Fire and Falcons
by SilverYoko
Summary: He had called him a masochist. Maybe he was right. Or maybe it was just his way of dealing with scars. [YAOI, KaiBry]


Disclaimer: Don't own

Fandom: Beyblade

Pairing: Bryan/Kai

Rating: NC-17

Genre: PWP/some angst/light humor?

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Language, Oral, Slight blood

Summary: He had called him a masochist. Maybe he was right. Or maybe it was just his way of dealing with scars.

Beta: None, fuck ups are mine alone

Of Fire and Falcons

SilverYoko

The songs throbbed throughout his body. They left an ache he could feel in his bones. They always did; he knew they always would. They hit too close to home for his liking. Kai _had_ always called him a masochist. Maybe he was right. In fact Bryan knew he was right. Their relationship had proved that over and over.

But it wasn't like he was the only one that took part in their charade of a relationship. Because…to Bryan that's all it was. He did not believe this to be a true relationship. They had nothing that the "normal" lovers had. Sure sex was a big part of their relationship but that was about it. They didn't speak and their personalities clashed, or were they too much alike, sure Kai had the times where all he wanted to do was lie down and hold him but those were rare. Very rare.

How could they hope to have a real one? One with tenderness and love, whispered secrets and tales of the future…all of this was lost to them both. They only knew hatred and pain. Rape and torture were daily parts of their lives in the past and neither could truly let go. Everything that wasn't involved in sex they were awkward with, talking was neither ones strong point and comfort was a fairytale.

And after each "session" the other was left with an empty feeling and many questions. They were forced to look inside themselves because they were forced to _feel_ things they had told were wrong. They were forced to recognize they were still alive and very capable of feeling.

He ground his teeth together, the headphones blaring. The fact that they shared an apartment probably had something to do with their repeated encounters and unseemly "relationship".

The thought of moving out had often crossed his mind. But he never took the steps to do it. He didn't have the courage and he swore the Falborg mocked him each time his hands trembled over an open suitcase. He wouldn't blame the falcon if he did. He mocked himself many times over it.

He knew that the phoenix mocked him just as much. But for different reasons then his bit beast did. She mocked him because of his cowardice in admitting his own feelings. Each time Kai's muscled arm lay across his waist she mocked him. She knew that his skin felt like it had been set on fire, the itchiness that came with physical contact, and then came horrible burning sensations and his body trying to squirm away from the person. And each time he could hear her mocking call.

His nails had dug into his palm, crescent indentations welled with blood. He hated the weaknesses that seemed to be seeping into his being every time he was around his old comrade. It was the same way when they were younger. He thought it would've passed when puberty had lessened its hold. It seemed he had been grasping for miracles.

He had shut off all the lights, the darkness now an ally. The only illumination was a tiny candle off to his side. He had no idea where Kai had gotten to. The blader had disappeared early that morning and Bryan welcomed the free time.

A frustrated sigh escaped as he tried to push the kitten away. It's mewls were cutting into his music and the rare Bryan time. The tiny furball had been Kai's idea. He had almost killed Falborg's master with the suggestion of a kitten. He had thought that Kai would want a big rottie or some other large dog. He had yet to ask why Kai wanted the kitten over a puppy.

The animal was hardly cute, all it did was whine and rub against his ankles trying to trip him. It was a mix of black, orange, and white. Half its face was black and the other half a mixture of white and orange. Most of its body was occupied by black but it had white and orange feet, and those colors seemed to sprout everywhere else on its body too.

With a muffled protest he pulled the thing from his shirt, cradling the tiny form to his chest as he hissed as his bare feet met with the cold, wood floor. The mewls had gotten louder as she bumped her head against his chest. He almost wanted to tell her to shut up but he knew that it'd be useless.

Absentmindedly he put her on the counter, her feet thudding quietly on the countertop. The sound of his ruffling around was unusually harsh to his ears, the apartment seemingly more menacing. His hand collided with the back of the cupboard and he cursed silently. The stupid cat was more trouble than it was worth.

_Speaking of which where is that stupid feline?_

"Ack, dammit!"

A yowling was let out as he grabbed the airborne kitten. By both of the inhabitants. Bryan's more in anger and the kitten's seemed to be in fear and disappointment. He growled lowly as he set the, now, content kitten by the refilled food bowl. He really wanted to kick her across the room but he knew Kai would kill him.

He ran his hands over his arms as he tried to keep warm. Winter had taken its hold, snow was everywhere and he had forgotten to turn on the heater. The kitten seemed content to munch on the fake fish and, to him, a hot shower was looking like heaven.

"Stupid thing, don't choke or I'm throwing you in the snow regardless of Kai's feelings on the matter."

Satisfied he had gotten his point across, and a dull look from the kitten, he shed his clothing on the way to the shower. A sock here, one over there, don't forget the pants on the chair!

The room immediately warmed, steam rising coating everything. He sighed in relaxation as he threw boxers over his shoulder. He bit his lip against the hot spray, gooseflesh rising along his body.

He ran his hands along the scars and piercings. Kai had convinced him to get his nipples done, something he didn't regret. His longest scar ran across his right pectoral to the bottom of his ribs. He had another near his naval, one more where Boris had drug a knife along his collarbone. He had numerous on his thighs and back, each a pale rendition of a story.

Kai's body had no scars. Bryan knew it wasn't because he didn't get to share in the beatings. It was only because his body didn't scar like theirs. He carried more emotional scars; Yuriy was up there with him, more than the rest of them. While they had to deal with new torture Yuriy and Kai dealt with mind rape.

He ran a hand through his hair, nimble fingers massaging shampoo into his scalp. Kai loved to run his hands along Bryan's scars. He had once told him it was because he felt that he could take away a little of the pain by seeming to partake in it. He didn't have the heart to tell Kai that he wasn't helping in the least.

He bit his lip to stifle the cry as he felt the muscled arms encircle his waist, chin resting in the crook of his neck. He could feel every muscle and plane of the boy's body. Kai had pressed himself up against him in a way that left nothing to the imagination.

Dranzer's keeper made a satisfied sound in the back of his throat as his hands gently roamed the pale body in front of him. They traced every scar, new and old, pressing hard at times and gently at others. He knew his lover's body like the back of his hand now. And he extorted it at every chance.

Kai was still larger than him. He worked out on a daily basis while Bryan only worked out once or twice a week. His body wasn't overly muscled but just enough so to make them strain against his shirt, make his body look lean and lithe. With the alabaster skin that never tanned he was a walking wet dream. Men and women alike seemed to flock to him regardless of his nasty disposition. But each only had one thing on their mind, which is why Kai had taken his choice with Bryan. Bryan was…different than the others. He let Kai cuddle with him, either before or after sex. Many times their cuddling was just in the middle of the day while Bryan was trying to watch something and Kai coerced him into letting him hold the temperamental blader. He knew that his lover hated being touched, it brought back memories from the abbey and the people within it. But he wanted to change that. He wanted to be able to freely hold his lover without having him immediately tense and remain that way.

Bryan had been in the abbey longer than him. Years longer. He had no idea what his lover had gone through after he left. He didn't even want to imagine. Bryan spoke nothing of it but nightmares plagued his life and insomnia was how Bryan had wanted to deal with it. That's when Kai had gotten rid of his bed and had started sleeping in Bryan's. It never occurred to the younger to just kick Kai out.

**NC-17 MATERIAL, LINK IN MY JOURNAL **

Sated, he lie under the warm spray of water. That was the good thing about where they lived. The hot water heater never ran out so he could take as long a shower as he wanted.

So went another round of their "relationship". At least…for tonight anyway. It would end soon. He could sense a storm beneath those wine colored eyes. One that he wanted nothing to do with. One that Kai wanted him to have nothing to do with.

He ignored it. He stashed it away with the part of him that had died out long ago.


End file.
